The Ultimate Guide to Becoming the Kind of Brave You Admire in Other Women
For every woman who's ever Googled “Am I brave or just tired?”
There’s a version of you that shows up in your best friend’s stories. The one who didn’t back down. Who stood up. Who kept going. Who maybe tripped over her own bootlaces but still made it to the top of the damn hill.
We admire brave women. We follow them on Instagram and read about them in books. We whisper their names in coffee shops and trailheads like little prayers. But too often, we forget: that kind of bravery isn’t exclusive to other people.
It’s inside us too, muddy boots and all.
This essay is for the woman who used to feel brave but can’t quite find her spark anymore. For the one who’s starting over. For the one who’s worn thin. For the one staring down midlife like it’s a mountain she didn’t ask to climb.
By the time you finish this post, you’ll have three trail-tested ways to reconnect with your inner courage and see yourself with the same admiration you’ve reserved for others.
In case you’re new around here, I’m Jill, a legally blind Army veteran and founder of Outdoor Book Club. I’ve led women through forests, books, and life transitions. I’ve discovered that courage isn’t loud or showy. It’s often quiet, gritty, and just stubborn enough to lace up the boots anyway.
Let’s get into it.
1. Stop Trying to “Feel” Brave. Start Acting Brave Instead
Many women wait until they feel courageous before they take action. But that feeling? It rarely shows up on time.
The problem is, we treat bravery like a mood, when it’s actually a muscle.
Here’s what works better:
Do the scary thing before you're ready. Confidence is the result, not the prerequisite.
Set a “bravery minimum.” A tiny daily act that reminds you you’re capable, like asking a question, taking the detour, or saying no.
Choose discomfort on purpose. Sign up for something you’re nervous about, just to prove you can survive it.
The benefit comes when you stop waiting for bravery and start becoming brave through motion.
Years ago I joined a backcountry cross-country ski trip with disabled veterans, even though I had zero skiing experience and the thought of descending a snowy hill while legally blind made me nauseous. I was terrified the entire first day. I didn’t feel brave. But I showed up. I didn’t die. By the second day, I could breathe again. By the third, I was laughing with people I now call family.
That’s the secret. Courage comes through action, not affirmation.
So, what happens when you start choosing courage instead of waiting for it? You build proof that you're stronger than you thought.
Let’s build on that.
2. Rewrite Your Definition of What Counts as Brave
Too many women dismiss their courage because it doesn’t look like a TED Talk or a solo thru-hike.
The issue with that is we’re using someone else’s definition of bravery, and it’s shrinking our sense of self-worth.
Instead, try this:
Redefine bravery as showing up when it would be easier to opt out.
Count the invisible brave acts, like telling the truth, asking for help, or getting out of bed when you’re grieving.
Treat vulnerability like a form of leadership, because it is.
Once you do, you’ll see you’ve been brave all along. You just didn’t name it.
A woman on one of our Outdoor Book Club retreats told me she almost didn’t come because she was recovering from a divorce and felt “too fragile.” But she showed up. She teared up during our first circle and said, “I haven’t shared this with anyone.
That, to me, was braver than any summit we reached.
Why does that matter? Because the stories we tell about bravery shape the women we believe ourselves to be.
When you start recognizing your small, daily acts of courage, you stop disqualifying yourself from the category of brave women. And that’s a powerful shift.
Next, we’ll talk about the one thing brave women do again and again.
3. Let People In, Even When It’s Uncomfortable
We often picture brave women as solo adventurers. Lone wolves. But the reality? Courage is communal.
The challenge is that vulnerability can feel dangerous, especially for women who’ve had to be strong for too long.
Here’s how to soften that:
Share one small truth with someone safe. Just enough to practice being seen.
Let someone help you: on the trail, in life, anywhere. Yes, even when it feels awkward.
Surround yourself with people who see your strength, even when you can’t.
The payoff? You stop carrying the whole world alone and realize you were never meant to.
On a recent hike, I didn’t bring my guide dog because of the heat. Instead, I relied on friends. Two hiked in front of me to cue when to duck or step. One walked behind me to keep me from veering off into the woods. It wasn’t comfortable. It was actually pretty vulnerable. But it was also a moment of deep connection and trust. The kind you carry long after the hike ends.
That’s why this matters. Bravery expands when shared.
So give yourself the gift of community. Not just the kind that hikes with you, but the kind that reminds you who you are when you forget.
Final Takeaway
The bravest women you admire? They’re not different from you. They just stopped waiting. They redefined what counts. And they let themselves be seen.
You can do that too.
Ready to take the next step?
If this resonated, subscribe to Outdoor Book Club for more stories, soul hikes, and book-fueled bravery. Your inner heroine is already here. She just needs a trail, a tribe, and a little reminder.
P.S. Outdoor Book Club is now officially a book club. When you join, you're not just supporting a woman-powered, veteran- and disability-owned publication—you’re also getting a front-row seat to monthly in-person discussions about some of the most powerful nature-themed books in the world. Think campfire vibes, not classroom lectures. We’d love to have you pull up a chair.
Thank you!!!
I’m was struck by the depth of connection with your friends. I’m finding as I age my friends are much more connected to me than my family. This counters everything I was socialized to believe.